If there’s one thing I keep coming back to in my life… it’s meditation. It started for me in 1998 (oh I was totally a teenager ?) …when I signed up for a Tibetan Buddhism course after reading the Tibetan book of living and dying by Sogyal Rinpoche. As it may be for a lot of westerners, we get to meditation because we need something. We need something to change that is. My life at that time was dramatic and self-destructive. At a pivotal point in my life when I was supposed to be creating my future, I was focused on immediate gratification. Picking up the book intersected with a break-up of my first love. His name was Adrian and was the quintessential bad boy- artist, broken home, I later found out- drug dealer- ahhh I was so naive back then! To be honest, none of those things really matter, maybe there is some indication of thrill-seeking behavior from my boyfriend preferences but a lot of girls like the bad boys and it doesn’t necessarily coincide with being self-destructive… But it was the break-up that broke me. Or made me, really. It accelerated this path I was on of total chaos and devastation, addiction, unhealthy behaviors in ALL the areas… The Tibetan Book of the Living and Dying spoke to me. It said, do you suffer with this? That suffering happens, that life is suffering, and we must accept that. And one major cause of suffering is attachment. My ears (or eyes) picked up on this attachment because I was ATTACHED to Adrian. Not in the typical co-dependent type of love, but in the I am attached to the idea that I fell in love and that was it, marriage, babies next chapter in life (fairytale or Hollywood?). No matter how bad he was for me or how little we matched on so many levels, I had never known love in that all-encompassing sense: fallen totally in love with someone and now that it was ending, I did not know how to let go. I was completely introduced to this big gaping hole inside of myself that Adrian (among other things) had temporarily filled. I had no idea that the hole was there, always suspecting there might be something wrong with me or in a more PC term, there was something different about me… It was the ending of that relationship that gave shape to this hole inside of me. I felt traumatized and instead of seeking healthy things to fill me up or to learn from or build myself up, I did the COMPLETE opposite.
There’s obviously a lot more to that story, but we are talking about my introduction to meditation not my life story, so I will spare you more details, or delve into them on a later date. For now, my colorful life led me to Buddhism and then by some stoke of luck I was invited to be in the 9 week Tibetan Buddhism Course that Emory was offering. It was the onset of Emory’s connection with the Loseling Institute and the Drepung Loseling Monestary. Check out the story here: https://www.drepung.org/Emory.cfm. And here is my cool factoid that I usually use with the game 2 truths and a lie… I actually got to meet and shake hands with his holiness. Our class was invited to a special meeting with his Holiness, the Dali Lama. Cool, right? Ok high fives over, let us move on.
So that is my initial connection, the start of veering from my Christian path and learning about a religion that taught me about more daily living and how to find peace than I had ever found through Christianity (not Christianity’s fault just my exposure!).
It has been an interesting relationship with meditation. As someone who really fights structure, the whole ‘discipline’ of it has always challenged me. My inner rebellious teenager says NO to almost anything that is set as a discipline. I am much better now, but it still creeps up on me! I will write a whole section on discipline someday, but probably when I feel that discipline is my friend. Discipline is more of my teacher than friend, it helps me to continue to work through some poor childhood-adapted coping strategies.
Back to meditation, definitely a love-hate relationship and I am proud to say that I am on the LOVE train with it right now. First, let me tie this to health. In my health practice, in my personal health, I have become very aware of inflammation, why we (I) get it and how to subdue it. As someone that has suffered from IBS, inflammation is a big issue. Guess what friends? Meditation helps with inflammation! Carnegie Mellon has done a ton of studies on the effects of Meditation and one was specific to stressed out job seekers. Their inflammatory makers significantly dropped after participating in an 8-week meditation course. I believe it. I believe that meditation helps chill out the central nervous system, which benefits all the systems in your body. Specifically, it helps your body get out of flight or fight mode. Your body and brain have a lot more ‘space’ to deal with issues that come up, vs attacking and reacting to everything brought in (both physically and mentally).
I have tried various meditations and always choose to keep it as simple as possible. I am not even a fan of guided meditations so much, but when the monkey brain won’t always be quiet, guided is the perfect place to start for relaxation and peace.
The method I am using right now was termed ‘Ziva’ meditation by Emily Fletcher. I will let you do the research on her and her program and book… We are going to get straight to the point-I will just tell you what the meditation is. So hopefully you can use it and create change in your life. Ready for it?
Ok here it is and it is soooo good and simple. It is about 18 minutes total. Here is the structure:
2 x a day you will meditate. In the morning, shortly after waking and sometime in the afternoon (best time- around 3-4pm when you get that circadian rhythm metabolism dip)
1-2 minutes of mindfulness- connect to the breath; connect to your senses. Bring yourself to the here and now.
10-14 minutes of Meditation with a mantra. Mantra means mind anchor, so we are not trying to fill our brains with affirmations, we are anchoring our mind, while clearing it. Now note, your brain is meant to think. It is going to think because that is what it does. Using a one-word mantra just helps bring it back to one place with out meaning and without further thought. We will use what Emily recommended which is the word ONE.
Finally, your next 2-3 minutes are your manifestation time. Where you will visualize whatever it is you want for yourself. I LOVE this. Coupling the two together is the money shot for me! I love visualizing and believe in it 100%. However, when you pray and meditate, journal, do yoga etc visualizing is ONE more thing that we have to add in. The Ziva meditation makes it easy and wrapped all in one.
*To note- to make your manifestation/visualization really effective- associate FEELINGS with whatever it is you are visualizing. Get down and deep with the feelings that you would feel should this event happen. Quantum Physics supports adding in feelings. Check it out. It is literally amazing. Who knows, right? I tend to always be looking for something outside of the box, so the scientific researchers may poo-poo the idea. But HEY if it works, I would go for it and that’s the attitude I take. I have already gone WAY to long in this blog, so I cannot get any more into the quantum physics-feeling aspect, but it iS a thing.
Let me know how it goes. I can tell you this. I did prescribe this exact meditation for a guy who has been having trouble sleeping. It has been one week. He normally sleeps about 10-12 hours over an entire weekend. He happily reported to me that he slept 17 hours last weekend and that IT is working. It may not work for everyone, but why not give it a chance? What is the harm?
So much more to write… I would love to tell you more about Emily Fletcher but you can read her book: Stress Less, Accomplish More or just find out about her on the internet. I am happy to report I bought the book and downloaded the audible- that is when you know I REALLY like something. Coming at me on all the fronts!
I hope you got something from today’s writing. I know it has been a few weeks since I have written and… can you see why? I literally just wrote you a 1500-word essay. For those with short-attention spans, SORRY, but I am sure it’s worth the read.
Let me know if you do the meditation. Let me know if you are struggling with something and I’ll try to help (yes, for free), I do this way more so I can benefit people than I am doing it for the money. So basically, do not hesitate. Also, if you know someone who has digestion issues, PLEASE have them reach out to me. That is becoming my focus and I’m going to be launching a 10-week Gut Health Reset and Restart pilot program that anyone can join.
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